Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Children's Literacy Not That Important to Minor League Ballclubs

So a faithful reader forwarded me the following email, purportedly written by the Provider Services Manager of the "Literacy Council," some sort of outfit that apparently is keen on helping kids be, well, literate and such. The email is pimping a new ticket program for the Birmingham Barons, a minor league baseball outfit in Birmingham, AL. Emphasis added where appropriate:
The Birmingham Barons have implemented an exciting ticket donation program - The Kids Korner Ticket Program.

The Kids Korner Ticket Program donates 25 tickets to qualifying charitable organizations for every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday home game during the 2008 season. They will even recognize your group and let one of them through out a first pitch before the game!

Huh. I guess I could run threw a wall and then through a piece of it at a bare, but I don't think that such a bear assertion would be worth much. Maybe the author of the email needs to attend Zoolander's School For Kids Who Don't Read Good. Also, for the love of God, why does everyone think that they have to employ alliteration at every turn? Wouldn't "Kid's Corner" suffice? The guy that wrote the original email had this quote as his signature:

"...literacy is the key to unlocking the cage of human misery..." Kofi Annan

And throughing pitches as part of the Kids Korner program is the key to locking the cage of human sadness. No wonder yankees think all Southerners are a bunch of ignorant rubes.

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