Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Finals, They Are Upon Us

The day is finally here. Mere hours from now the bastion of all that is good and hopeful in the world, the Los Angeles Lakers, will take on the power of the dark side in the Boston Celtics. Of course I am kidding--the Lakers don't represent everything that is good in the world. For example, they aren't a manifestation of butterflies or rainbows. But they are still a beacon of good in a world filled with Celtic darkness. I mean, let's face it: the Celts were a weird society whose male members preferred sleeping with each other over their beautiful females. The Lakers represent lakes, and everyone loves going to the lake. There's fishing, swimming, jet skiing, you name it. Not to mention the beer.

So which is it, America? Do you prefer fun lake parties or dandies throwing themselves at you? I think that the answer is clear.

We here at Buzz's Monkey Butler offer up our official NBA Finals predictions, and the result of my informal poll of the newsroom is unanimous:

Edwin Jarvis: Lakers in six.
Hobson: Lakers in seven.
Cadbury: Lakers in five.
Alice Duckworth: Lakers in six.

Should the Lakers win, it will be proof positive that Buzz's Monkey Butler is a prognosticator unlike any the world has ever seen. It will also prove, once and for all, that lakes are more awesome than dandy fops.

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