Thursday, June 26, 2008

You Want to Know Garbage? Here You Go...

Jimmy Johns is garbage. Not the tasty-sandwich chain, mind you, but the ex-Alabama football player. Pure, unadulterated garbage.

College scholarship? Check.

Good head coach? Check.

Starting position on defense? Check.

Yeah, I'd probably sell a little cocaine, too. And not just that, I'd sell it in the parking lot of the football complex. What the hell, right? Was he feeling nostalgic and trying to bring back the halcyon days of '80s Miami football? And, yes, I'd be "deeply saddened" about being arrested, too. But, then again, most morons that get arrested for selling drugs are also pretty sad about their situations, as well. In fact, what kind of idiot would be happy about being arrested? (More info on Johns' arrest here and here.)

And if that wasn't enough, Johns was also selling pit bulls on a website that bore his name. Slight problem with that: it's against NCAA rules. At least Johns was diversified, right? Illegal drug sales on one front, pit bull entrepreneur on the other. No wonder he lost playing time under Coach Saban--he was too busy running his businesses.

While the pit bull sales may have been legit under Alabama (although not NCAA) law, each sale of cocaine is a Class B felony and carries with it a 2 to 20 year sentence. The sole possession charge is a Class C felony and carries with it a 1 to 10 year sentence. Luckily for Johns, three of the sales took place before he turned 21, so he could get a do over youthful offender on those. You see, best case for Johns here would be some sort of probation, fine & community service; as a young man with no criminal history, a sympathetic judge who had eaten a tasty breakfast AND gotten laid by two or three high-dollar call girls the night before might have given him such a sentence. But, given the current "war on drugs" (especially against cocaine), most sentences usually include jail time. And not pansy County time, either: real, big-boy State Penitentiary time. Add into that the fact that University of Alabama president Dr. Robert "Nit" Witt will likely be kicking down the doors over at the Tuscaloosa District Attorney's office and you have all the makings of a stiff sentence that will include prison time once all is said and done.

So now Johns will go down in the pantheon of college athletes whose actions destroyed their careers: Lawrence Phillips, Maurice Clarett, and now Johns.

No comments: